Confessions of a Pastors Wife by Erika Moss

Below is a guest blog post written by Erika Moss, wife of Chance Moss who is the Pastor at White Harvest Baptist Church. Thank you Erika for helping us all understand what it is like to be a Pastors wife.


Confessions of a Pastor’s Wife #1:

I’ve held this position for almost 4 years now, and the last six months have been BY FAR the toughest.  If the enemy can’t find his way in one way, he’ll sneak and slither until he finds another.  Keeping that armor on is the most important defense against his lies and deceit.  Our marriage is a testament to the victory that lies in Christ Jesus.  Hand-in-hand we walk together in our marriage and ministry…but the hands of Jesus are what connect our hands to each other’s.  Every obstacle propels us closer to each other and closer to God.

I’m so grateful to be serving and growing in Christ with Chance Moss.  He’s a strong, yet compassionate leader.  Wise to the Word, and humble in his calling.

I love you, Chance, and I’m proud to be your wife.


Confessions of a Pastor’s Wife #2:

The glass house is REAL y’all!  I know all my sisters in the ministry hear me (I wanted to jokingly say “sister wives” and then thought better of it, ‘cause you know…glass house lol).

ANY-who…it is, though.  But I’d like to share something about our little glass house on the highway.  It’s a place of family.  A place of warmth and love.  A place of rest and safety, much like all of yours (I hope).  It’s also a place of mess and mistakes, noise and flaws, and, at times, chaos (again, much like all of yours).

But God blessed us with our home and all that is in it.  It’s all His…ALL of it.  HE’S provided the warmth and safety, and HE’S allowed the mess and chaos.  HE’S granted us rest and fun times, and HE’S permitted struggle so that we would seek Him more intently.

We consider it a great privilege to open our glass doors as we have to folks needing sanctuary from their own environments.  We derive joy from obeying God’s call of hospitality and from passing along the blessings He’s provided to us from others as well.

So, yes, the glass house is real, but what’s most surprising (to myself anyway) is that I want it that way…So that when you see us stumble you can catch us before we hit the ground.  So that when we fall on our faces you can help us up.  So that when we’re seeking Truth you can seek with us.  So that when we’re celebrating victory, you can celebrate with us.  How else would the world see the true work of God in our lives?  In fact, if you ever notice our walls starting to look smudgy and foggy, go ahead and grab some Spiritual Windex and wipe them down for us.

Thank you, Jesus, and may Your Church as a whole build their houses out of glass.

Confessions of a Pastor’s Wife #3

There’s no punching in or out.  The work schedule isn’t Wednesdays 7:00pm to 8:00pm and Sundays 10:00am to 12:00pm.  It’s a 24/7/365 job.  Yes – study, sermon prep, lesson planning, all of the obvious stuff outside of church hours, but the true work is what happens in the heart and through the Spirit, and there’s no turning any of that off.

If I’m being honest (which y’all know I’m pretty good at), when we obeyed God in this call on our family, I stressed about my part in all of this.  What does the pastor’s wife even do?  Stand there next to him and look pretty?  Start a women’s Bible study?  Open a Christian bookstore??  Feed all the starving children?!!

Over the years, amongst his studying, praying, and writing, I’ve watched him burn with every emotion known to man as he counsels the flock, shares in their joys, cries over their hurts, pounds the pavement to meet their needs, puts his own desires in the dumpster so that he can follow God’s leading.  Calling, texting, visiting, praying, all from the Spirit, and all from a place of true love injected into him.  And in the midst of the Pastor’s all-consuming love for the people of God, I often feel that I myself should be doing more, like I should be throwing aside my little world the same way he does.  I mean, I’m “the wife”- why am I not doing all of that?  Why am I not bringing cupcakes to nursing homes or tutoring at-risk youth or something?

But the answer is simple, and God has made it so clear to me recently.  I’ve come to learn that, yes, of course I’m called into ministry (*ahem* all of us are, if we’re true followers of Jesus), but my primary ministry, the one that God has put a burn on my heart for, is my home and my husband, whom I watch sweat and study and serve and counsel and learn and teach and reach and carry 24/7/365.

Here’s the thing:  the life of a pastor is lonely.  (What??  Lonely?? )  Yeah, I never would have thought so either.  But I’ve observed my pastor quite a lot (imagine that) and have learned from many others that it’s just the nature of obedience to the calling.  He teaches truth and preaches honesty, yet few are completely honest with him.  His focus is on Jesus and serving Him by reaching and teaching others, yet few reach out to or try to teach him.  It’s the life of a shepherd – looking after each sheep out of love for him or her individually.

But who shepherds the shepherd?

I can’t give him all the Godly counsel he needs (praise Jesus for placing other pastors in his life…ones who totally get it).  Even after all I’ve described, I don’t know the half of what burns in his heart.  But I can encourage him, I can listen to him, I can pray, pray, pray for him.  I can help him navigate through his doubts, comfort his hurt when a sheep strays, stand close by his side when others would rather run. I can give him HONEST feedback and help him to grow as a leader…and I can remember that he’s a man.  A Daddy, a brother, a son, a husband, a friend, a co-worker.  A human.  He is one who desires the same comfort and ministry he provides to so many, but gets so rarely.

As the pastor’s wife, I don’t read to the blind, or teach English to immigrants, or rock babies at the hospital (oooh, but I might start).  Nope.  I care for the one who cares for the flock.  And I don’t do it alone.